You know, perhaps it's time to retire this whole hazing ritual that we put Bill Funt through when he appears on the program. Perhaps the approach is losing steam. Perhaps it's played out. Perhaps it's unfair to Bill himself, and we ought to just admit that his caustically witty presence and deep well of pop culture knowledge are the true reasons we welcome him back time and again, and stop perpetuating this impression that he's a needy, ball-hogging chump whose only goal is to usurp the show for his own nefarious objectives. Perhaps...nah, we're having too much fun. But at least Thom's birthday provides a distraction and paints a target on his chest for a while, too. Plus, adventures in the Monkeeverse, and stories of parental inflagrante! Music by The Monks, Panic At The Disco, The Beatifics

As they say in jazz, "it’s more about the notes you don’t play, man." This week, the men of The Spoon - self-admitted projectile word vomiters, all - make an attempt to streamline their style and cut down on audible pauses, but the cure proves worse than the disease. Fortunately, Kelly Murphy is on hand to step in and fill the verbal gaps with aplomb, dropping adventurous anecdotes on everything from skydiving to stein wrangling, and acquits herself quite well in this first...er, premiere...uhm...debut appearance on the show. Music by The Condors, The Flame, and Les Sans Culottes.

We don’t want to say that this episode is carried by the guests and callers, but... well, we can’t think of another way to finish that sentence. After a few minutes of quality trio time, the men of The Spoon are joined by Anny Celsi and Carl Hanni, who bring the show yet another dose of "real radio" chops, as well as a gorgeous musical soundtrack which generates more phone buzz than usual for any episode that isn’t someone’s birthday. Also, drum crimes of the 80s, practical advice on removing wine from walls, the story of Rob’s first bus ride, and just what the deuce is up with Arizona, anyway?

Dave Berges brings the pain: pain borne of nostalgia, as his professional radio acumen invokes the formats of olde and the leather-helmeted DJs of yore; pain borne of laughter, as he unleashes zinger after zinger on a plethora of spoony topics; pain borne of pain, what with all the genital mutilation, whether real and voluntary or postulated and enforced. Plus, the fate of the studio corkscrew, a call from Pappy, and a moment for poetry corner. Come and get it! Music by The Pheremones

Tony Leventhal wades into this week’s pool of contention and isn’t shy about making some waves of his own, as the men of The Spoon roll up their verbal sleeves and blast the red levels, delving into the politics of food, the business of politics, the culture of business, the manipulation of culture, the art of manipulation, the expectations of art, the danger of expectations, and the sweet, sweet taste of danger. Plus, some deeply unsettling info about land crustaceans, and another superb soundtrack provided by The Mockers.