Looks like we'll have to buy The White Album again.Thanks for everything, NDR.

You want words? We've got words! Enhance your vocabulary with coterie, behest, and rubicon! Learn how to pronounce coven! Discover the joy of baining! Plus, stories of shocking variety and transience! NDR overlord Johnny Dam's presence unleashes a neutron bomb of jocular tangents, and guest Mike Simmons provides a heavy dose of contrapuntal wit as well as all of this week's music, via his band Sparkle*Jets UK. This one's a barn burner, folks...strap in and hang on!

It's the first trio show in a few months, and the men of The Spoon are more than happy to spend their "alone" time decompressing from a stressful election season while marveling at linguistic remix value, celebrity mustache clout, youthful vehicular insanity, half-assed secessionist movements, and cinematic jingoism through the ages. Plus, Rob gets phished, and the glory of the cutbuzz is revealed! Music by The Condors, 3D Picnic, and Sun Sawed In Half

Last time we had Kelly Murphy on the show, we kept the fact that she is Chris's significant other on the down low, but in this episode their love is both acknowledged and celebrated. And when assailed by killer storms, relentless robo-calls, traumatic celluloid, and confusing joke boundaries, we think everyone could use a little more love. Especially if it's accompanied by food. Not in that way. Ok, sometimes. Music by The Mockers, Phil Seymour, and Cliff Hillis

When we asked musician Karen Basset to visit The Spoon, she was warned of its cat-with-a-laser-pointer aspects, and prepared herself accordingly. Ironic, then, that this turns out to be an unusually focused outing, largely concerning the nature of cool, the alchemy of pop, and the and the arc of the show business curve. Plus, kitties on Roombas! Music by our esteemed guest, via The Pandoras, The Rebel Pebbles, and her own self.

What do we want? Respect! When do we want it? Soon! How do we get it? Uh... we'll get back to you on that. In the meantime, Seth Gordon and Tony Leventhal of The Mockers are here with a flurry of New York stories and impossible dreams, documentary defenses and copyright conundrums. Plus, a little pre-Christmas backlash to counter the pre-Christmas hype, and at least one well-timed bikini joke. Music by The Mockers, Patrick Clark, and The Popravinas.

Joe Armstrong of Independents Day is our guest, and with a fellow musician and radio man in the room, it makes sense that issues of creativity, identity, and media modeling in the 21st century crop up and take center stage. Fortunately, sidetracks into fetish culture, Disney propaganda, and chaos theory, not to mention a couple of left-turn phone calls, keep the baseball from getting too inside. Plus, Freddy flute! All music by Mr Armstrong.

If there is a point to this week's show - and, as regular listeners know, that's a one hell of a big "if" - it's the semiotics of nomenclature. Names have power, whether given at birth, chosen for porn, used as verbs, or applied to fictional plumbing tools. This week's holiday-themed SAL only confuses matters, so we're glad to have Eric Dean Boydston on hand to help us hack through this tricksy linguistic jungle. Music by The Knack, and A Fragile Tomorrow.

It's not often the case that all three men of The Spoon can be so easily hoodwinked, but guest Jimmer Podrasky sweeps in tonight like a comedic Keyser Soze and practically breaks the show in twain with the greatest of ease. Musical musings, dating drama, the proper preparation of monkey meat... no matter the topic being tossed out, it comes back with one hell of a topspin. Enjoy the ride! Music by Finland Station, Elton Duck, and The Rebel Pebbles.

Bill Funt's latest round of thrills and spills as the show's favorite frenemy is augmented by the arrival of musician/TV host/restauranteur Bobby Bognar, and the rising conversational tide lifts boats right, left, and center, with talk of unlikely media heroes, unfortunate cartoon voices, the My Way Murders, the Spoon as Beatles metaphor, and the ever-mysterious question of where meat comes from. Music by Extra, Elton Duck, and Otis Gibson & The Rockhounds

With Chris away on adventures both amorous and aeronautical, Rob and Thom navigate the maturity curve of world religions, the fractal nature of social groupings, the telltale portents of Christian pop songs, and, perhaps most importantly, whether a remake of Red Dawn is workable in 2012. Plus, unexpected visitors, backward backbeats, and what Thom really does while everyone else is talking. Music by Uncle Green, Big Fish Ensemble, and Paul Melancon.

There are things we love too much, things we could stand to love more, things we want to love but are forced to fear, and things which should never be approached in the first place. In this episode, Michele Ivey, Timmy Cupps, and a grip of callers help the men of The Spoon cover all these bases and more with tales of songbird stalkers, hellish houses, TMNT traitors, and adventures in our nation's capital. Music by The Orion Experience, The Rooks, and Jonathan Coulton

Rob, Chris, and Thom are reunited for the first time in six weeks, and balance is restored to the Spooniverse! In between the catch-up, our heroes turn their attention to the history of pagers, metal bands, and zombie flicks, and still find time to praise Cab Calloway, eulogize Michael Clarke Duncan, research Burt Reynolds, and herald the glorious return of Sodomizing A Legacy. Beat that with a (virtual) stick. Music by Frank Royster and Sparkle*Jets UK.

Where conventional wisdom fails, The Spoon prevails! Rob, Allen Lulu, and Johnny Dam explain how politics are more than sport, how sports are surprisingly political, the upside of steroids, the downside of childlike enthusiasm, and why unusual attraction is often the most potent. Plus, the tsunami of crazy that is the Republic National Convention meets a real-deal hurricane, and Chris and Thom check in from their assignments in the field. Music by Trinket and Mark Fletcher

With so many cooks in the kitchen this week (Rob welcomes Dave Berges, Johnny Dam, and Bill Holmes to the mic, not to mention a boatload of callers, including Chris & Thom) you'd think the resulting dish might be unpalatable, but somehow the wheels stay on the wagon -- barely -- while topics fly past the windows with great velocity and ferocity, including the curse of Oliver, the idiocy of Akins, and the rapid depopulation of leather-helmet celebrity. Plus, poetry corner! Music by Walter Clevenger & The Dairy Kings

For all of those who argue that the Spoon is not educational, prepare to be proven wrong. While Thom vacations, Robbie, Chris and guests Dave Shalansky and Johnny Dam ACTUALLY cover all of the following topics: the art of pooping in cups, diarrhea and foreign medical care, anus tattoos, the refreshing taste of Coors Qatar, shameless Nice Guy Eddie promotion, 25 Years of Shark Week, abused wanna-be Olympians, who to consult when in need of Chinese food, the downside of midnight breakfast, Moms passing wind and dealing with the "swamp ass" that follows, urination at 10,000 feet, Yankees spoiler alerts AND the perks that come with Russian hotel rooms. You're welcome, Planet Earth... you're welcome. Music by Tin Cat, Matt Brown and Lazy Balls.

Rob & Chris are both away this week, but as it was decided long ago that The Spoon is bigger than any one man (or two men, for that matter) Thom finds himself alone at the wheel, wrangling a rogues gallery of guests (including Allen Lulu, Bill Funt, and Fletcher Rhoden) and teeing off on the news of the day. A Spoon episode unlike any other, yet tinged with the eerily familiar. Music by The Mockers, Tess Dunn, and Nice Guy Eddie.

Set momentarily adrift without their overhost, Chris, Thom, and special guest Eric D Boydston attempt to fill the Robbie-shaped hole in the show -- and our hearts -- with excursions into beverage science, apnea analysis, further tales of nerdy con culture, and a scintillating expose on... weather in the Midwest. How much more badass could things get? The answer is none. None more badass. Music by 3lb Thrill, Barely Pink, and Galileo.

This week, we bring you grievous bodily harm, alarming collisions with total strangers, and revolting imagery that will haunt your dreams for all time... and that's just Chris & Thom recapping Comic Con. (Ba-dum!) Also, learning to draw, scary books gone by, the lost art of the fade-out, and thoughts on changing the show's theme music. Music by Pride Of The Garage, Kyle Gray Young, and Let's Active.

As the title suggests, it is with no disingenuity (that's a word, right?) that we applaud Circe Link and Christian Nesmith for being delightful guests in a conversational capacity, bringing to the show new games to play and a wealth of topics ranging from to the underrated appeal of bodily musk, all while managing to share the same microphone in an example of adorable couplehood. They even go to the trouble of providing all of the music this week. How bout them metaphorical apples?

Travis Randall joins the show this week, and despite a touch of ennui, the topic-hopping quotient spikes considerably, from extolling the virtues of beef salads and fan-owned bands to warning of digital tissue and energy vampires. Also, medical advice that you absolutely should not follow, advice on pruning the un-awesome from one's life, and, just to spice things up... a last minute caller! Music by Cotton Mather, Adam Schmitt and The Beat Farmers.

We here at The Spoon (a joint venture of NDR and BobCo) live by a cardinal rule: the key to entertainment is to jump up and down on the tightrope until it snaps. What happens afterward... ah, that's the prize! As you'll hear in this episode, we tend to lead by example, while our guest Eric Dean Boydston absorbs the lesson and throws out a few choice kernels of his own wisdom along the way. Heads up, class! Music by D.L. Byron, Loveless, and Vader Vader.

Chris is back, Bill Holmes is in the 4th chair, and... ya' know folks, there are times when so much comedy and conversation gets packed into this show that it can't be detailed in a single paragraph description without collapsing on itself and becoming a gravitational singularity which would threaten the safety of all lifekind. This is one of those times. So do the universe a favor and just make with the listening, huh? Music by Paul Melancon, Jensen Bell, and Terry Anderson & The Olympic Ass-Kickin' Team.

Chris is off-duty this week, leaving the show feeling more Sporky than Spoony, but Regent St Clair gamely steps into the breach and helps us to navigate the conversational waters from nitpicky nerdfights (mild spoilers for Prometheus) to Craigslist conundrums, with a brief salute the lascivious 70s in between. Plus, multiple calls, including The Couch Report! Music by The Pills, Something Happens, and Jim Basnight.

Guestless for the first time in months, the men of The Spoon start out with a mission statement spot check before moving into discussion of group dynamics in situations ranging from rock bands to superhero teams, then cap things off with a rousing chorus of Stuff That Used To Be Cool (Before They Tried To Make It More Cool, Which Wound Up Making It Embarrassingly Uncool) augmented by a hilariously heartbreaking SAL. Music by The Orion Experience and Kingsauce.

You know, perhaps it's time to retire this whole hazing ritual that we put Bill Funt through when he appears on the program. Perhaps the approach is losing steam. Perhaps it's played out. Perhaps it's unfair to Bill himself, and we ought to just admit that his caustically witty presence and deep well of pop culture knowledge are the true reasons we welcome him back time and again, and stop perpetuating this impression that he's a needy, ball-hogging chump whose only goal is to usurp the show for his own nefarious objectives. Perhaps...nah, we're having too much fun. But at least Thom's birthday provides a distraction and paints a target on his chest for a while, too. Plus, adventures in the Monkeeverse, and stories of parental inflagrante! Music by The Monks, Panic At The Disco, The Beatifics

As they say in jazz, "it’s more about the notes you don’t play, man." This week, the men of The Spoon - self-admitted projectile word vomiters, all - make an attempt to streamline their style and cut down on audible pauses, but the cure proves worse than the disease. Fortunately, Kelly Murphy is on hand to step in and fill the verbal gaps with aplomb, dropping adventurous anecdotes on everything from skydiving to stein wrangling, and acquits herself quite well in this first...er, premiere...uhm...debut appearance on the show. Music by The Condors, The Flame, and Les Sans Culottes.

We don’t want to say that this episode is carried by the guests and callers, but... well, we can’t think of another way to finish that sentence. After a few minutes of quality trio time, the men of The Spoon are joined by Anny Celsi and Carl Hanni, who bring the show yet another dose of "real radio" chops, as well as a gorgeous musical soundtrack which generates more phone buzz than usual for any episode that isn’t someone’s birthday. Also, drum crimes of the 80s, practical advice on removing wine from walls, the story of Rob’s first bus ride, and just what the deuce is up with Arizona, anyway?

Dave Berges brings the pain: pain borne of nostalgia, as his professional radio acumen invokes the formats of olde and the leather-helmeted DJs of yore; pain borne of laughter, as he unleashes zinger after zinger on a plethora of spoony topics; pain borne of pain, what with all the genital mutilation, whether real and voluntary or postulated and enforced. Plus, the fate of the studio corkscrew, a call from Pappy, and a moment for poetry corner. Come and get it! Music by The Pheremones

Tony Leventhal wades into this week’s pool of contention and isn’t shy about making some waves of his own, as the men of The Spoon roll up their verbal sleeves and blast the red levels, delving into the politics of food, the business of politics, the culture of business, the manipulation of culture, the art of manipulation, the expectations of art, the danger of expectations, and the sweet, sweet taste of danger. Plus, some deeply unsettling info about land crustaceans, and another superb soundtrack provided by The Mockers.

Pop quiz, hotshot: which of the following statements are true? 1) Oprah invented the term "vajayjay." 2) Tisdale wine is red. 3) Spanish technology is entirely dependent on squirrels. 4) Pam Dawber was killed by a stalker. 5) Rob’s imaginary childhood friend was named Corey. 6) There are no tacos in Italy. 7) Doctor Zee’s voice was dubbed. 8) The Mockers are our guests tonight. 9) The longest time anyone in this episode speaks without being interrupted is thirteen seconds. 10) Arizona does not exist. There will be no prizes awarded for correct answers, but the journey is its own reward... right?

Of all the multi-hyphenates to visit the show, Regent St Claire may be the multi-est of them all. Thrill to his adventures, both regular and mis, in the realms of comics, condoms, music, magic, love, loss, and legal entanglements which involve the Zimbabwean rights to Spider-Man. Also, pontification on the advantages of good closure skills and early-onset melancholia, the dangers of flying monkeys and fan fiction, the needless friction between zombie and football enthusiasts, and why it’s always best to embrace the stoopid. Music by Castle Blak and Monster Island

Tonight, we learn a little about the interconnectedness of all things. The five people in the room (including special guests Amanda Read and Brent McCracken) may be of disparate ages and origins, but childhood cruelty, pre-Internet memes, and the lure of video rodeo bind them together as surely as any mystical energy field that a Sith Lord could conjure, whether he had just returned from the dentist or not. Plus, The Human Centipede goes back to back -- heh -- with Elmo, and in science news, it turns out that radiation is NOT simply particles of super-hot dust...but that doesn't make the Fukushima disaster any less terrifying. Music by Trip Shakespeare, The Explorers Club, and Ronnie Mack.

The show is fashioned into a pop culture scatter-gun that lays waste to all within range, as Rob & Chris attempt to conduct some sabotage (or, as Shatner would say, "sabotage") on Thom by juicing Johnny Dam’s nerdery to rinds prior to his appearance on The Geek Agenda. Plus, keen comedic conversation on subjects such as gun control, parenthood, chicken wings, and football stats, and this week’s Sodomozing A Legacy pens the final (?) chapter in the epic tale of Michaelangelo vs Michael Bay. Music by KingSizeMaybe

Bill Funt returns to the show in search of fortune and glory, but what he finds instead is a bag of knives. Knives made of words. Words made of judgement. Judgement made of hilarity. Hilarity made of Bill. On and on, ‘till the break of dawn. Also, incredible tales of vampire mohels, pharma-branding, the definition of Yanni, the mischief of Bill Murray, and a post-script to all that TMNT remake business. Music by Daisy Chainsaw, Jukebox The Ghost, and Paul Collins

Very few legacies go un-sodomized in perpetuity, so one more shouldn’t really matter... but when Michael Bay’s evil grip closes around the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, it gets personal for Rob and action must be taken! Armed with naught but their wits, their mics, and the specter of the Fear Monkey to keep them in line, the men of The Spoon and special guest Fletcher Rhoden charge happily into the fray. If it be a sin to covet honor, we are the most offending souls alive. Join us in glory! Also, pink slime with a side of sniglets. Music by Parthenon Huxley, Peter Holsapple & Chris Stamey, and Linus Of Hollywood

NDR Overlord Johnny Dam makes a long-overdue return to inspect the troops and is both dismayed and delighted by what he witnesses, often in the same breath. Syntax snafus! Viola jokes! Newfound powers of memorization! Godwin's Law applied to everything from bagpipes to Burghoff to Nazis themselves! Plus, a smorgasbord of riffing on TV, religion, and combinations thereof...and to top it all off, this week's SAL is actually a stealth love letter. Awwwww. Music by Anny Celsi, and Mark Hoffman & The Rabble

It never fails - when Bill Holmes is plugged into the proceedings (often as the podcasting equivalent of a booty call) The Spoon becomes a shattering, supercharged circuit. A white-hot, searing flame of comedic chaos. Or, as Peppy Boner himself puts it, "a total clusterfuck of talk." Literally from the intro, the show is off to Mars on a rocket of random, and can barely be bothered to wave goodbye. Sacred and profane, discerning and obtuse, referential and solipsistic... the gamut gets not only run, but run over, and not a Zeus-damned thing can be done about it. Enjoy! Music by The Well Wishers, The Swinging Madisons, and Jonathan Coulton.

Spoony superenthusiast Emily-ann Herrington thought that appearing as a guest on the show would be a good for a lark. how wrong she was. But with an onslaught of japes aimed at everything from her country of origin to her pop culture preferences raining down upon her, she serves it right back with wit and gusto. Also, she's the earliest late guest the show has ever had, so bonus points for that. Other topics include the end of film, life on the potato picking line, Winnipeg's surprisingly high murder rate, and the never-ending nomenclature war between soda and pop. Music by Kelly's Heels, Jensen Bell, and 7 Deadly 5.

Bill Funt injects himself into the mishpoche this week, and the important questions follow: what is the difference between Emergency and Emergency One? Who can sum up Marty Kroft in a single sentence? Why are some transgender operations trickier than others? When does good become TOO good? Along the way, friends of the show call in to wish us well and wage their wares, and everyone learns a lesson about vetting heroes and defending villains. Plus, the Westboro Baptist Church’s food sucks… and such small portions, too! Music by The Cretones, The Mockers, and Any Trouble.

Perhaps love is a many-splendored thing. Perhaps love is a battlefield. Perhaps love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath, and at night, the ice weasels come. Perhaps love just stinks. Whatever your perspective, the men of The Spoon and special guest Jenni Rosen have you covered on this pre-funk to Valentine’s Day, along with ruminations on the fall of Whitney Houston, the rise of E-readers, and the legacy of Jerry Lewis being so thoroughly sodomized that it could use a charity telethon of its own. Music by The Adventures and The Caulfields.

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Whatever the answer for Allen Lulu, he’s more excited to be a guest on this week’s show than the mind can comfortably conceive, and at the end of the day he weathers the conversational storm in fine form as we barrel through the surprising economics of football, the disturbing banality of the porn industry, the magical synergy of making music, and yet another trench run at that sweet, sweet Subway money. Plus, who started the Borscht talk? Not Me! Music by Throttleback Sparky

Rob’s girlfriend Jenni is here to do some mythbusting on male/female relations, but not before the show plows through a raft of Facebook flamings, DMV woes, movie cries, college tutoring, and a random rummage through the studio’s filing cabinet in search of the wily and elusive Bell Of Insult. Eventually, education and elucidation do ensue, and are all the sweeter for being hard-won. Presumably. Also, Rob gets frisky with the felines, Chris drops anvils on his bulldog, and Thom has no pets, just a hole in his heart where The Rick Emerson Show used to be. Music by The Little Girls, The Wonderstrucks, and Stian Rafto.

Can the show - nay, the Universe itself - survive all three members of Nice Guy Eddie being in the studio together? Find out, as Dave Shalansky joins us for a whirlwind of topical palaver, with affection for Yiddish, antipathy for celebrity baby names, and ambivalence about the return of Van Halen all present on the conversational menu. Plus, the Zen of Vegas, Dueling McCartneys, and this week’s Sodomizing A Legacy gets meta-muddled, in glorious fashion. Music by The Paul Collins Beat and Great Buildings.

Quinton Flynn forgoes his duties as the Spoon’s Suave Shalansky long enough to let his magnificent coif down and delve into the nerdery of anime conventions, at which he appears frequently and with much fanfare. Also, the axiom of never meeting your heroes seems to have at least one exception, which is watching your hero meet THEIR heroes, and just how white can the men of The Spoon sound whilst pitching a TV show about African-American rock musicians? The answer is none. None more white. Music by Cliff Hillis, Martin Briley, and The Sugarplastic.

It’s all about filters this week: whether it be the mist of nostalgia, the blood-rush of tribalism, or the constantly shifting sands of cultural propriety, it cannot be denied that perception colors reality, and reality gets pretty weird as a result. Are the men of The Spoon able to pierce this veil and see things as they truly are? Maybe not, but it’s fun listening to them try. Plus, Rob can finally talk about his new voiceover gig, and 1982 was a pretty damn good year for movies. Music by Trip Shakespeare,The Rainmakers, and Skooshny.

And the men of The Spoon wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer. Thus, on the second day of the first month in the year of our lord two thousand and twelve, they turned the full glare of their conversational lens in toward one another, and began upon a campaign of self-promotion and self-destruction, largely centered around what kind of bands they dig. Will this righteously indignant kick-off lead them to madness or perdition? Only time will tell. Music by Nice Guy Eddie,Sons Of Nothing, and Wonderboy.