WARNING: This episode may contain one or more of the following ingredients: framed babies, creative vomit, the youth vote, Theme Music stories, legalized weed, procrastinated flossing, partially de-fatted fatty pork tissue, Robbie's complete pessimism, comet landings, civil engineer jokes, wabi-sabi, compulsive bird-rubbing, secret cannibal families, dream water, very intense mathematics, tasteful wordsmithing, and at least four potential cures for hiccups. All that, and Bob Fenster, too. Can you dig it!

Music by:

The Sons Of Lazaro
Secret Affair
Goo Goo Dolls

Spoon-feeding:

Mel Brooks: Make A Noise
Dry-Brined Turkey 
Guy On A Buffalo

Top 5 Alternate Titles:

Honorable Mention - Properties Of Immiscible Fluids In Porous Media  
5- The Inside Of Someone's Brain Coming Apart
4- Why Does The Pudding Skin Have Leg Hair?
3- Darryl & Carol & Their Other Brother Darryl
2- We've Yet To Insult People With Hiccups
1- Check Your White Rice Privilege

What's in a name? The men of The Spoon may not have the answer, but they ask the question with gusto! This week, the politics of professional pseudonyms, the amusing, appalling sobriquets of childhood, the mythologizing of market monickers, the gamble of googling oneself, and the not-so-secret weaponizing of middle names by all parents everywhere. Plus, road gig decompression, documentaries with friends, animation crossover madness, the carnal stats of con culture, and a future segment is born!

Music by:

The Well Wishers
Agony Aunts
Steve Barton & The Oblivion Click

Alternate Titles:

5- I Still Like To Hold Something And Look At It
4- Streamlining The Normalcy
3- You Guys Go Show Off And Be Cute
2- Giant Bags Of Stuff That I Will Never Eat
1- Today It Was Grey, And So Was I

 

The Men of The Spoon don't normally stand on tradition, but a sesquicentennial episode only comes once, so this week our former executive producer Johnny Dam (aka Johnny Darko, aka Leon The Thundertaker) returns to gaze upon the show he helped birth and pronounce his hilarious judgement. Plus, the virtues of a Pennsylvanian lifestyle, how to write a joke, dissecting the Baha Men discography, a short recap on the mid-term elections, and no small amount of self-referential archive diving. Enjoy!
 

Music by:

Cliff Hillis
Willie Wisely
Chris Von Sneidern

Spoon-feeding:

Doc's Hard Cider
Indie Bohemians Morning Show 
Does The Dog Die?
Rist/Hillis/Wisely/Von Sneidern 

Alternate titles:
5- The Last Thing I Wanna See In My Porn Is You
4- What Do Pittsburghians Eat?
3- Set Up, Punchline, Tag Tag Tag!
2- The Incoming Angle
1- I Will Leave My Car On The Mayor's Lawn For Six Bucks

Stooges? Musketeers? Blind mice? Cornered hat? Whichever metaphor you use, the Men of The Spoon function best as a trio, and this week's episode demonstrates it particularly well. In breakfast cereal parlance, it not only pops, but snaps and crackles as well. Join us on a rollicking journey through voice branding, lookalike partying, role model surfing, ebola panicking, halloween movie watching, the end of all things middle, and more demographic insults than you can shake a white witch at.

Music by:

The Like
Locksley
The Number 12 Looks Like You

Spoon-feeding:

Drunk History
Serious Eats
La Brujeria

Top 5 Alternate Episode Titles:

Honorable Mention: Unexpected Wankery In The Middle
5- If I Hate This, I'm Gonna Punch You
4- Embrace The Panic
3- You Could Do A Little Slicey-Dicey
2- Where Da White Witches At?
1- #BlameBurton

The Spoon stirs in triplicate once more! Robbie returns from Spain with a head full of stardust and a gut full of sea creatures, and the show hits the ground sprinting with topics ranging from the mummification of rock to the weaponization of flatulence, with stops in between for vegetarian sci-fi, multiple-choice biographies, millennial insults, a eulogy for the instrumental single, a glimpse into the show's cranky old man future, and a fine array of sweet, sweet white crosses for added courage and zing! 

Music by:

Sintonicos
Nancy Gardos
Suzy Y Los Quattro

Spoon-feeding:

Pete Townshend, Who I Am
Fletcher Rhoden, Santa & Me
SETLIST.FM

Top 5 alternate episode titles:

Honorable Mention: Hewing To The Pete Side Of The Force
5- It Just Works, Dammit
4- A Lot Of Guys Stepping On Ducks
3- This Machinery Is Starting To Wear Down
2- All Those Sea Creatures Made Me Tall
1- The Satirist Who Has Nothing To Write About Is Apparently Not Looking Around Enough

 

If Bill Funt falls in the woods and Robbie Rist is not around to mock him mercilessly, does hilarity still ensue? You bet it does! Follow us down this week's spoony rabbit hole as we write in our slam books and make delicious s'mores while discussing domesticus interruptus, not-so-civil forfeitures, soda flavors of the 80s, soft vs hard stress, the pros and cons of Sirius XM, online jackass fatigue, and the third coming of Themestock.

Music by:

Sparkle*jets UK
Rosewood Thieves
The Andersons!

Spoon-feeding:

Thug Kitchen
Star Wars Rebels
The Many Loves Of Dobie Gillis

Top 5 alternate episode titles:

Honorable Mention: The Orange Shirt Is Appropriate
5- Just Stick To Your Shuffle
4- A Timespace Continnuum Fucker-Upper
3- The Call Is Coming From Inside The Kitchen
2- All Of The Great Taste, None Of The Eternal Damnation
1- Sometimes Stuffy Is A Real Dragon

Robbie is still out rockin' the continent, but in his stead we offer you the mighty Quinton Flynn, and there is much rejoicing! Ingredients of this week's verbal stew include bands that work, lonely cavemen, handgun substitutes, irregular heartbeats, cool party tricks, unpleasant surgeries, TSA ladles, and plain white sleeves. Plus, Thom gets lost in the gigosphere, and Chris considers having to cosplay Bane just to get a decent night's sleep. Music by Glen Burtnik, Heliopolis, and The Mockers.

Things get very nerdy very quickly this week, as Allen Lulu joins Chris & Thom for a rollicking discussion of sci-fi physics failures, alternative fantasy presents, movie tie-in novels, the latest iPhone shenanigans, sculpting the fandom of children, and the value of turning shuffle off to enjoy full albums again. Plus, tributes to missing family and fallen comrades. Happy belated Rosh Hashanah, everybody! Music by Rich Creamy Paint, The Old Joe Clarks, and Sons Of Nothing.

Robbie is off on tour bringing the rock to the people, so Chris and Thom are joined by special guests Bill Holmes and Dave Berges for this week's excursion into whimsy. Topics include big band adventures, advice column musicals, celebrity mortality, mental assassination, voiceover shenanigans, and more weather talk than you can shake something sharp at. Plus, tequila! Music by Selby Tigers, Pete Krebs & Gossamer Wings, and The Woody James Big Band (featuring Mr Berges himself)

Though battling unusual and disorienting recording times (not to mention time zones) The Men of The Spoon remain doggedly on their game this week, whether taking care of business in the front with the horrors of war and the weirdness of biblical gender politics, or dropping a party in the back with the ranking of rock movies and forays into sci-fi nostalgia. Plus, spoon feeding, 20 points of compatibility, and the dawn of battle tennis! Music by The Little Girls, The Onlymen, and Kenny Howes.

In the beginning, there is discussion of our American stew of propaganda, fear, and violence, and what might be done decrease its levels of poison, or at least lighten up the flavor. In the end, there is much whimsical jousting about cartoon people, video rodeo and the bureaucratic nature of the universe. And in between, splitting the show's two sides like a diamond bullet to the brain, is the return of Oliver Mattson. Prepare thyselves. Music by The Bus Boys, 3D Picnic, and Kristian Hoffman.

The Spoon's family has suffered another heartbreaking loss, as today we say goodbye to Chris's beloved bulldog Frankie. Then Quinton Flynn arrives on the scene in revealing and relatable fashion, ready to hurl hilarious, narrowcasting smart-bombs. Plus, fake news evolution, demonic phone possession, late night host dishing, action star metaphors, random calls from the south, and a generous quantity of artisanal moonshine to wash it down. Music by Linda Horwatt, The Day I Fell Down, and Fernando.

The men of The Spoon come together to celebrate and mourn, as friends and heroes pass away and 2014 edges ever closer to the suck column in the annals of history. But though our cups of sadness are saturated and our shame drawers are packed, we take comfort in the punky spirit of art unfettered by cynicism, liberally laced with camaraderie, gallows humor, and not so cheap sentiment. And you are more than welcome to join us. Music by Randy Burns, The Dickies, and Pursuit Of Happiness

The world has problems, the men of The Spoon have solutions! Some of these solutions may appear to merely be needlessly elaborate long cons which serve no purpose other than our own amusement, but to paraphrase the great Sledge Hammer: trust us, we know what we're doing. Plus vomiting scenes, coyote scams, padawan braids, 9/11 protest songs, the return of Sharknado, the best worst segue ever, and a new round of spoon feeding. Music by Maria McKee, Throttle Back Sparky, and Gear Daddies.

Bill "Yancy" Holmes returns to the show, in an episdoe that not only runs the gamut, but runs it over. Trying to shock an unshockable world, othering through the ages, the evolution of barrel technology, the virtues of voice actors, a hearty round of spoon-feeding, the acknowledgement of a professional milestone or two, and the crazy dream of Spoon Action Figures. Plus, how many ways can you describe a bottle of tequila? Music by Matt Bunsen & The Burners, Abby Travis, and Kenny Howes.

The men of The Spoon are nothing if not adaptable: faced with a last-second guest cancellation, they gleefully charge ahead into conversations both alien and familiar, simultaneously embodying the smartest kids in the class whilst also mocking them mercilessly. This week's mill grist: spelling bee hookups, literary Mt Everests, the semiotics of the mixtape, the mythos of green M&Ms, innovations in cannibal technology, and more. Music by Seven Deadly Five, Sun Sawed In Half, and The Vandalias. 

 

War. Disease. Necrophilia. Disney musicals. When such horrors are visited upon our world, it is important to remember the good in life...especially if you happen to be special guest Bill Funt, who had no idea what a seriously NSFW rotor blade of a conversation he'd be walking into when he agreed to appear on the show this week. Plus, tattoo negotiations, comic artist rotations, and the true meaning of Ringo Starr's birthday. Music by Martin Mull, The Abe Lincoln Story, and Los Abandoned.

Let us now come together in praise sharpness, whether embodied by the sharp barbs of gallows humor, the sharp hook of a well-crafted pop song, or the the sharp sting of sparking wires near one's genitals while occupying a stolen car for fetishistic purposes. (No, really.) This week, all of those forms and more are employed to keep your Overhost from slipping too far down the sharp spiral of ennui and general misanthropy. Plus, metaphorical poo-throwing! Music by Bad Religion, Finland Station, and The Wondermints. 

WARNING: this week's episode may contain traces of the following: haircut etymology, microfame, heirloom seeds, gun talk, tribute band culture, Rob making Macca jokes, green M&Ms, Bobbygirls, German opera, baby piercers, Chris revealing his rap monicker, lurching buses, PB&J, death-related navel gazing, airport cross-dressers, Thom being defensive about Styx, more gun talk, moms without filters, shellac (to give it a glaze), insights & anecdotes from special guests Circe Link and Christian Nesmith,  and music from The Proclaimers, The Monks, and The Radio Stars. Please listen responsibly.

The Men of The Spoon can’t solve all the world’s problems, but many solutions begin with discussion, and that’s where we live. Gun violence is still on everyone’s mind this week, as well as the frustrating culture war cliches that surround it, but in between verbal jabs in that direction, there is also time for the evolution of social media, the future of artisanal cheese, the sublime satisfaction of a Scrabble victory, and a bevy of other topics rife with drinkability. Get to chugging! Music by The Orion Experience, Redd Kross, and The Wondermints.

It’s all about recipes this week: the alchemy of combining separate ingredients into new and exciting creations. Cucumbers and ice cream. Guns and churches. Large vans and West L.A. parking. Our fair show and returning guest Karen Blankfeld Bassett. Any animal and any other animal, if Rob ever gets to fulfill his entrepreneurial desires. The list goes on and on, ‘till the break of dawn. Plus, the difference between Grammer People and grammar, people! Music by David Geddes, Suzi Quatro, and The Angels. 

After a brief forced hiatus brought on by extremely sucky real life events, the men The Spoon are back to navigate the perils of growing up aimless, the wonders of the microscopic world, the horror movie moments that stick with you forever, and the terrifying celebrity nexus of music and sport embodied by the 1985 Chicago Bears. We didn't come here looking for trouble, but....you know the rest. Spoon on! 

From the archives: originally planned for the show's 100th episode, it's a best-of made up entirely of other best-ofs, culminating in a dada dash of hyper-condensed Spoony goodness. Enjoy!

No show prep, no problem: anything is possible with a dose of vitamin Q! Actor/musician/co-Snozzberry Quinton Flynn returns to The Spoon this week with mucho gusto, and the sparks they do fly. The high wire of gallows humor, the delicious chaos slash fiction, the melancholy of Captain America, the likely fate of a retired David Letterman, and the white noise of over-documentation are all grist for the conversational mill. Plus, an impromptu musical performance by our own Chris Jackson!

If specificity is the key to podcasting success, the men of The Spoon are giving it their level best this week by digging deep into their pop-musical dorkitude, getting granular on the magical combinations of slickrick-ness, slobrob-ness, and smartart-ness in their favorite artists, and championing random acts of stoopid. Plus, special guest Allen Lulu dispenses sage acting advice and wearily approves of the Marvel movies, all while on a mission to clean up Los Angeles -- literally! Music by Sorrows. Bruce Matis, and Pink Slip.

 

For the first time in over a year, Robbie, Chris, and Thom meet in the same room to conduct their Spoony business, and there is much rejoicing, as well as much talk of music, mortality, microphone protocol, and alternative uses for human skin. (Hey, you bought your ticket, you knew what you were getting into...) Music by Plasticsoul, Patrolled By Radar, and The Neighborhood Bullies.

At long last, the men of The Spoon welcome the mighty Matt Brown (resident of New Jersey and The Internet) to a special after-dark edition of our little show. Tales of many sizes, shapes, colors, and flavors are spun from this historic gathering, including but not limited to the genesis of Theme Music, the metastasis of Idiocracy, the resurrection of Cosmos, and the legend of Suzy Thunder. Plus, Rob's birthday is imminent, and Frankie finally gets a word in...or, at least, a snuffle. Music by Crazy Squeeze, Gameface, and Jimmer Podrasky.

This week the men of The Spoon, along iwth the able assistance of multi-hyphenate mirth-making magnate Fletcher Rhoden, concoct a tasty stew made up of roughly equal parts righeous indignation, benign bemusement, and reality TV sausage. Plus, the death of pop fashion, the birth of the food replicator, and the proper number of strings for a bass guitar. Music by Mr Rhoden, as well as Chris Von Sneidern, and The Vampyre Bunnies.

Dave Shalansky returns to The Spoon, his sunshine-fueled, coffee-flavored personality propelling the show to new heights of topic hopping merriment. We'd list them all here, but really, once the patent trolls take over, what's the point? Just keep in mind that it's always darkest before the Bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk, and everything will be Ok. Plus, a new installment of Love Bites, and music by Uncle Green and Joe Giddings.

It's a dark world out there. A lot of stuff going on. There are things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you ...shouldn't understand. This week, the men of The Spoon get to the bottom of an uncomfortably long list of those things, dancing around the ephemera of the fringes and questioning every answer. Also, a hefty dose of TV nerdery, and yet another cast member's medical malady. Music by Randy Burns, Jennifer Trynin, and Eytan Mirsky.

After a week's hiatus, the men of The Spoon come roaring back to ruminate on adventures both individual and collective. Rob romances CNN, Chris combines snowblower technology and pest control, and Thom treats us all to the gory details of his recent eye surgery. Plus: the flashpoint of creation, the golden age of television, the debut of a new mid-show segment from Rob and Lisa Orkin, and the best/worst baseball song you've ever heard. Oh my stars and garters, what a lovely tea party! Music by The Running Jumps, Honeychain, and Scott Stapp.

The men of The Spoon are feeling a little intellectually punch drunk this week. Need proof? Look no further than the sheer volume of motley, off-beat slang that permeates their discourse as topics veer wildly from Olympic fever to sangria-fueled snowmobiling to pondering the nature of poetry with semi-straight faces, and a hundred conversational hyperlinks in between. Plus, the return of Sodomizing A Legacy prompts a call for artistic death panels...of a sort. Music by Anni Celsi and Corin Ashley.

This week finds the men of The Spoon striking a swell balance between whimsy and pragmatism, doggedly deconstructing deconstructionism, stacking things on top of other things, and just generally cheering on the nitty gritty nerdosity of topics ranging from songwriting alchemy to chickpea cookery, while also pondering the elastic nature of time in the pop culture realM and almost forgetting to mention the rise of the Superb Owls. Almost. Who is this episode for? No one and everyone. It's like the wind, baby. Music by Material Issue, The John Faye Power Trip, and Joe Armstrong.

Our favorite frenemy Bill Funt  returns to the show, and the sparks they do fly. This week's episode runs the gamut from cradle to grave -- literally! -- with stops along the way for pop culture groupie wars, underappreciated British comedy, a fantastic solution to the Happy Birthday problem, and a peek or two behind the Spoony curtain, whether you want one or not. Plus, traveling and fighting and traveling and fighting and traveling and fighting. And fighting some more. Music by Randy Burns, Ronnie Mack, and Johnny Angel Wendell.

As any toddler or general will confirm, sometimes you have to break something in order to build something else, and this week the men of The Spoon aim to do their share: Chris breaks into the rough and tumble Kerhonksen music scene, Thom has his esophagus broken for him in Vegas, and Rob continues to break the spirits of superfans everywhere. Plus a fit of futurism, a cadence of conservatism, and a taste of TV talk. Music by Chris McKay, Irene Pena, and Hot Pink Racers

Any time that Bill "Pee Paw" Holmes appears on the show, it's a bracing experience. Whether questioning the selective squick of human-based foodstuffs, suggesting alternate uses for yellow ribbons, pondering the eternal mystery of Bata Inu, or talking up his new favorite tequila, Bill's customary comedic rocket sauce permeates the proceedings, and we are all better for it. Plus, Google gets a side-eye, 70s music gets a teary hug, and Morgan Freeman gets...a recurring bit?  Oh, boy. Music by The Fabulous Miss Wendy, The Orion Experience, and Rich Dart.

The Spoon stirs once again! Rob, Chris, and Thom hoist themselves back into the podcasting saddle and embark on a voyage over Skypey waters, under Youtube algorhythms, through polar vortexes, and around the rare case of diphallia. Plus the usual potpourri of politics and pop culture. One thing's for certain: the more things change, the more Rob still hates Beatles fans. Music by Jeff Jensen, Steven Shumate, Joe Giddings, and the Theme Music Collective.

Robbie has always believed that entertainment doesn't have to 'be good' -- it just has to 'be'. From killing television dynasties to burying three entertainment careers, he has seen and done it all. Most of it be'd, and it be'd loudly. Outside of his Spoony activities, Robbie can be heard as the voice of Stuffy on Disney Jr'.s wildly successful animated series Doc McStuffins, and every week he helps make a case for the continued denigration of 1970s music with his ongoing K-Tel Fridays shows at Redball's Rock and Roll Pizza in gorgeous Moorpark, California. Robbie knows how much hard work it takes to 'be good'. And that is why he chooses to 'be'.

Robbie on Facebook

Robbie on Twitter

Robbie on IMDB

The Wrong Dots

Chris originally comes from the metropolis known the world over as Bradenton FL, but is now more often referred to as a “child of the universe” (note: that statement is false). He earned a Masters Degree from the University of Florida in the field of Environmental Engineering, but, luckily for all lovers of clean air and water, he is not currently practicing. He began playing piano since the age of 5, but stopped improving around the age of 9. He eventually took up guitar and singing/songwriting, and is a founding member of Los Angeles-based band Nice Guy Eddie. He also loves cartoons, which, of course, keeps him busy fighting off the ladies on a daily basis. To date, his English Bulldog, Frankie, is more accomplished in the field of entertainment than he is.

Chris on Facebook

Chris on Twitter

Thom brings to The Spoon a lifelong passion for radio, a fondness for shiny buttons, and an alarming case of OCD which he attempts to mask as "organization" and "responsibility".  He is thrilled and delighted to be peddling his semi-professional superenthusiasm via trillion-dollar DARPA technology, and strongly suspects that any moment, his mother is going to wake him up and tell him that he's late for school. When not consumed by his spoony duties, Thom can be heard hosting The Geek Agenda podcast and playing bass for prog-rockers Sons Of Nothing. His hobbies include making lists, checking them multiple times, and embracing pop culture as the one true faith.

Thom on Facebook

Thom on Twitter

In January of 2013, three raconteurs disappeared in the sprawl near Woodland Hills, California, while recording a podcast...Six weeks later, their conversation was found.

Looks like we'll have to buy The White Album again.Thanks for everything, NDR.

You want words? We've got words! Enhance your vocabulary with coterie, behest, and rubicon! Learn how to pronounce coven! Discover the joy of baining! Plus, stories of shocking variety and transience! NDR overlord Johnny Dam's presence unleashes a neutron bomb of jocular tangents, and guest Mike Simmons provides a heavy dose of contrapuntal wit as well as all of this week's music, via his band Sparkle*Jets UK. This one's a barn burner, folks...strap in and hang on!

It's the first trio show in a few months, and the men of The Spoon are more than happy to spend their "alone" time decompressing from a stressful election season while marveling at linguistic remix value, celebrity mustache clout, youthful vehicular insanity, half-assed secessionist movements, and cinematic jingoism through the ages. Plus, Rob gets phished, and the glory of the cutbuzz is revealed! Music by The Condors, 3D Picnic, and Sun Sawed In Half

Last time we had Kelly Murphy on the show, we kept the fact that she is Chris's significant other on the down low, but in this episode their love is both acknowledged and celebrated. And when assailed by killer storms, relentless robo-calls, traumatic celluloid, and confusing joke boundaries, we think everyone could use a little more love. Especially if it's accompanied by food. Not in that way. Ok, sometimes. Music by The Mockers, Phil Seymour, and Cliff Hillis

When we asked musician Karen Basset to visit The Spoon, she was warned of its cat-with-a-laser-pointer aspects, and prepared herself accordingly. Ironic, then, that this turns out to be an unusually focused outing, largely concerning the nature of cool, the alchemy of pop, and the and the arc of the show business curve. Plus, kitties on Roombas! Music by our esteemed guest, via The Pandoras, The Rebel Pebbles, and her own self.

What do we want? Respect! When do we want it? Soon! How do we get it? Uh... we'll get back to you on that. In the meantime, Seth Gordon and Tony Leventhal of The Mockers are here with a flurry of New York stories and impossible dreams, documentary defenses and copyright conundrums. Plus, a little pre-Christmas backlash to counter the pre-Christmas hype, and at least one well-timed bikini joke. Music by The Mockers, Patrick Clark, and The Popravinas.

Joe Armstrong of Independents Day is our guest, and with a fellow musician and radio man in the room, it makes sense that issues of creativity, identity, and media modeling in the 21st century crop up and take center stage. Fortunately, sidetracks into fetish culture, Disney propaganda, and chaos theory, not to mention a couple of left-turn phone calls, keep the baseball from getting too inside. Plus, Freddy flute! All music by Mr Armstrong.

If there is a point to this week's show - and, as regular listeners know, that's a one hell of a big "if" - it's the semiotics of nomenclature. Names have power, whether given at birth, chosen for porn, used as verbs, or applied to fictional plumbing tools. This week's holiday-themed SAL only confuses matters, so we're glad to have Eric Dean Boydston on hand to help us hack through this tricksy linguistic jungle. Music by The Knack, and A Fragile Tomorrow.

It's not often the case that all three men of The Spoon can be so easily hoodwinked, but guest Jimmer Podrasky sweeps in tonight like a comedic Keyser Soze and practically breaks the show in twain with the greatest of ease. Musical musings, dating drama, the proper preparation of monkey meat... no matter the topic being tossed out, it comes back with one hell of a topspin. Enjoy the ride! Music by Finland Station, Elton Duck, and The Rebel Pebbles.

Bill Funt's latest round of thrills and spills as the show's favorite frenemy is augmented by the arrival of musician/TV host/restauranteur Bobby Bognar, and the rising conversational tide lifts boats right, left, and center, with talk of unlikely media heroes, unfortunate cartoon voices, the My Way Murders, the Spoon as Beatles metaphor, and the ever-mysterious question of where meat comes from. Music by Extra, Elton Duck, and Otis Gibson & The Rockhounds

With Chris away on adventures both amorous and aeronautical, Rob and Thom navigate the maturity curve of world religions, the fractal nature of social groupings, the telltale portents of Christian pop songs, and, perhaps most importantly, whether a remake of Red Dawn is workable in 2012. Plus, unexpected visitors, backward backbeats, and what Thom really does while everyone else is talking. Music by Uncle Green, Big Fish Ensemble, and Paul Melancon.

There are things we love too much, things we could stand to love more, things we want to love but are forced to fear, and things which should never be approached in the first place. In this episode, Michele Ivey, Timmy Cupps, and a grip of callers help the men of The Spoon cover all these bases and more with tales of songbird stalkers, hellish houses, TMNT traitors, and adventures in our nation's capital. Music by The Orion Experience, The Rooks, and Jonathan Coulton

Rob, Chris, and Thom are reunited for the first time in six weeks, and balance is restored to the Spooniverse! In between the catch-up, our heroes turn their attention to the history of pagers, metal bands, and zombie flicks, and still find time to praise Cab Calloway, eulogize Michael Clarke Duncan, research Burt Reynolds, and herald the glorious return of Sodomizing A Legacy. Beat that with a (virtual) stick. Music by Frank Royster and Sparkle*Jets UK.

Where conventional wisdom fails, The Spoon prevails! Rob, Allen Lulu, and Johnny Dam explain how politics are more than sport, how sports are surprisingly political, the upside of steroids, the downside of childlike enthusiasm, and why unusual attraction is often the most potent. Plus, the tsunami of crazy that is the Republic National Convention meets a real-deal hurricane, and Chris and Thom check in from their assignments in the field. Music by Trinket and Mark Fletcher

With so many cooks in the kitchen this week (Rob welcomes Dave Berges, Johnny Dam, and Bill Holmes to the mic, not to mention a boatload of callers, including Chris & Thom) you'd think the resulting dish might be unpalatable, but somehow the wheels stay on the wagon -- barely -- while topics fly past the windows with great velocity and ferocity, including the curse of Oliver, the idiocy of Akins, and the rapid depopulation of leather-helmet celebrity. Plus, poetry corner! Music by Walter Clevenger & The Dairy Kings

For all of those who argue that the Spoon is not educational, prepare to be proven wrong. While Thom vacations, Robbie, Chris and guests Dave Shalansky and Johnny Dam ACTUALLY cover all of the following topics: the art of pooping in cups, diarrhea and foreign medical care, anus tattoos, the refreshing taste of Coors Qatar, shameless Nice Guy Eddie promotion, 25 Years of Shark Week, abused wanna-be Olympians, who to consult when in need of Chinese food, the downside of midnight breakfast, Moms passing wind and dealing with the "swamp ass" that follows, urination at 10,000 feet, Yankees spoiler alerts AND the perks that come with Russian hotel rooms. You're welcome, Planet Earth... you're welcome. Music by Tin Cat, Matt Brown and Lazy Balls.

Rob & Chris are both away this week, but as it was decided long ago that The Spoon is bigger than any one man (or two men, for that matter) Thom finds himself alone at the wheel, wrangling a rogues gallery of guests (including Allen Lulu, Bill Funt, and Fletcher Rhoden) and teeing off on the news of the day. A Spoon episode unlike any other, yet tinged with the eerily familiar. Music by The Mockers, Tess Dunn, and Nice Guy Eddie.

Set momentarily adrift without their overhost, Chris, Thom, and special guest Eric D Boydston attempt to fill the Robbie-shaped hole in the show -- and our hearts -- with excursions into beverage science, apnea analysis, further tales of nerdy con culture, and a scintillating expose on... weather in the Midwest. How much more badass could things get? The answer is none. None more badass. Music by 3lb Thrill, Barely Pink, and Galileo.

This week, we bring you grievous bodily harm, alarming collisions with total strangers, and revolting imagery that will haunt your dreams for all time... and that's just Chris & Thom recapping Comic Con. (Ba-dum!) Also, learning to draw, scary books gone by, the lost art of the fade-out, and thoughts on changing the show's theme music. Music by Pride Of The Garage, Kyle Gray Young, and Let's Active.

As the title suggests, it is with no disingenuity (that's a word, right?) that we applaud Circe Link and Christian Nesmith for being delightful guests in a conversational capacity, bringing to the show new games to play and a wealth of topics ranging from to the underrated appeal of bodily musk, all while managing to share the same microphone in an example of adorable couplehood. They even go to the trouble of providing all of the music this week. How bout them metaphorical apples?

Travis Randall joins the show this week, and despite a touch of ennui, the topic-hopping quotient spikes considerably, from extolling the virtues of beef salads and fan-owned bands to warning of digital tissue and energy vampires. Also, medical advice that you absolutely should not follow, advice on pruning the un-awesome from one's life, and, just to spice things up... a last minute caller! Music by Cotton Mather, Adam Schmitt and The Beat Farmers.

We here at The Spoon (a joint venture of NDR and BobCo) live by a cardinal rule: the key to entertainment is to jump up and down on the tightrope until it snaps. What happens afterward... ah, that's the prize! As you'll hear in this episode, we tend to lead by example, while our guest Eric Dean Boydston absorbs the lesson and throws out a few choice kernels of his own wisdom along the way. Heads up, class! Music by D.L. Byron, Loveless, and Vader Vader.

Chris is back, Bill Holmes is in the 4th chair, and... ya' know folks, there are times when so much comedy and conversation gets packed into this show that it can't be detailed in a single paragraph description without collapsing on itself and becoming a gravitational singularity which would threaten the safety of all lifekind. This is one of those times. So do the universe a favor and just make with the listening, huh? Music by Paul Melancon, Jensen Bell, and Terry Anderson & The Olympic Ass-Kickin' Team.

Chris is off-duty this week, leaving the show feeling more Sporky than Spoony, but Regent St Clair gamely steps into the breach and helps us to navigate the conversational waters from nitpicky nerdfights (mild spoilers for Prometheus) to Craigslist conundrums, with a brief salute the lascivious 70s in between. Plus, multiple calls, including The Couch Report! Music by The Pills, Something Happens, and Jim Basnight.

Guestless for the first time in months, the men of The Spoon start out with a mission statement spot check before moving into discussion of group dynamics in situations ranging from rock bands to superhero teams, then cap things off with a rousing chorus of Stuff That Used To Be Cool (Before They Tried To Make It More Cool, Which Wound Up Making It Embarrassingly Uncool) augmented by a hilariously heartbreaking SAL. Music by The Orion Experience and Kingsauce.

You know, perhaps it's time to retire this whole hazing ritual that we put Bill Funt through when he appears on the program. Perhaps the approach is losing steam. Perhaps it's played out. Perhaps it's unfair to Bill himself, and we ought to just admit that his caustically witty presence and deep well of pop culture knowledge are the true reasons we welcome him back time and again, and stop perpetuating this impression that he's a needy, ball-hogging chump whose only goal is to usurp the show for his own nefarious objectives. Perhaps...nah, we're having too much fun. But at least Thom's birthday provides a distraction and paints a target on his chest for a while, too. Plus, adventures in the Monkeeverse, and stories of parental inflagrante! Music by The Monks, Panic At The Disco, The Beatifics

As they say in jazz, "it’s more about the notes you don’t play, man." This week, the men of The Spoon - self-admitted projectile word vomiters, all - make an attempt to streamline their style and cut down on audible pauses, but the cure proves worse than the disease. Fortunately, Kelly Murphy is on hand to step in and fill the verbal gaps with aplomb, dropping adventurous anecdotes on everything from skydiving to stein wrangling, and acquits herself quite well in this first...er, premiere...uhm...debut appearance on the show. Music by The Condors, The Flame, and Les Sans Culottes.

We don’t want to say that this episode is carried by the guests and callers, but... well, we can’t think of another way to finish that sentence. After a few minutes of quality trio time, the men of The Spoon are joined by Anny Celsi and Carl Hanni, who bring the show yet another dose of "real radio" chops, as well as a gorgeous musical soundtrack which generates more phone buzz than usual for any episode that isn’t someone’s birthday. Also, drum crimes of the 80s, practical advice on removing wine from walls, the story of Rob’s first bus ride, and just what the deuce is up with Arizona, anyway?

Dave Berges brings the pain: pain borne of nostalgia, as his professional radio acumen invokes the formats of olde and the leather-helmeted DJs of yore; pain borne of laughter, as he unleashes zinger after zinger on a plethora of spoony topics; pain borne of pain, what with all the genital mutilation, whether real and voluntary or postulated and enforced. Plus, the fate of the studio corkscrew, a call from Pappy, and a moment for poetry corner. Come and get it! Music by The Pheremones

Tony Leventhal wades into this week’s pool of contention and isn’t shy about making some waves of his own, as the men of The Spoon roll up their verbal sleeves and blast the red levels, delving into the politics of food, the business of politics, the culture of business, the manipulation of culture, the art of manipulation, the expectations of art, the danger of expectations, and the sweet, sweet taste of danger. Plus, some deeply unsettling info about land crustaceans, and another superb soundtrack provided by The Mockers.

Pop quiz, hotshot: which of the following statements are true? 1) Oprah invented the term "vajayjay." 2) Tisdale wine is red. 3) Spanish technology is entirely dependent on squirrels. 4) Pam Dawber was killed by a stalker. 5) Rob’s imaginary childhood friend was named Corey. 6) There are no tacos in Italy. 7) Doctor Zee’s voice was dubbed. 8) The Mockers are our guests tonight. 9) The longest time anyone in this episode speaks without being interrupted is thirteen seconds. 10) Arizona does not exist. There will be no prizes awarded for correct answers, but the journey is its own reward... right?

Of all the multi-hyphenates to visit the show, Regent St Claire may be the multi-est of them all. Thrill to his adventures, both regular and mis, in the realms of comics, condoms, music, magic, love, loss, and legal entanglements which involve the Zimbabwean rights to Spider-Man. Also, pontification on the advantages of good closure skills and early-onset melancholia, the dangers of flying monkeys and fan fiction, the needless friction between zombie and football enthusiasts, and why it’s always best to embrace the stoopid. Music by Castle Blak and Monster Island

Tonight, we learn a little about the interconnectedness of all things. The five people in the room (including special guests Amanda Read and Brent McCracken) may be of disparate ages and origins, but childhood cruelty, pre-Internet memes, and the lure of video rodeo bind them together as surely as any mystical energy field that a Sith Lord could conjure, whether he had just returned from the dentist or not. Plus, The Human Centipede goes back to back -- heh -- with Elmo, and in science news, it turns out that radiation is NOT simply particles of super-hot dust...but that doesn't make the Fukushima disaster any less terrifying. Music by Trip Shakespeare, The Explorers Club, and Ronnie Mack.

The show is fashioned into a pop culture scatter-gun that lays waste to all within range, as Rob & Chris attempt to conduct some sabotage (or, as Shatner would say, "sabotage") on Thom by juicing Johnny Dam’s nerdery to rinds prior to his appearance on The Geek Agenda. Plus, keen comedic conversation on subjects such as gun control, parenthood, chicken wings, and football stats, and this week’s Sodomozing A Legacy pens the final (?) chapter in the epic tale of Michaelangelo vs Michael Bay. Music by KingSizeMaybe

Bill Funt returns to the show in search of fortune and glory, but what he finds instead is a bag of knives. Knives made of words. Words made of judgement. Judgement made of hilarity. Hilarity made of Bill. On and on, ‘till the break of dawn. Also, incredible tales of vampire mohels, pharma-branding, the definition of Yanni, the mischief of Bill Murray, and a post-script to all that TMNT remake business. Music by Daisy Chainsaw, Jukebox The Ghost, and Paul Collins

Very few legacies go un-sodomized in perpetuity, so one more shouldn’t really matter... but when Michael Bay’s evil grip closes around the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, it gets personal for Rob and action must be taken! Armed with naught but their wits, their mics, and the specter of the Fear Monkey to keep them in line, the men of The Spoon and special guest Fletcher Rhoden charge happily into the fray. If it be a sin to covet honor, we are the most offending souls alive. Join us in glory! Also, pink slime with a side of sniglets. Music by Parthenon Huxley, Peter Holsapple & Chris Stamey, and Linus Of Hollywood

NDR Overlord Johnny Dam makes a long-overdue return to inspect the troops and is both dismayed and delighted by what he witnesses, often in the same breath. Syntax snafus! Viola jokes! Newfound powers of memorization! Godwin's Law applied to everything from bagpipes to Burghoff to Nazis themselves! Plus, a smorgasbord of riffing on TV, religion, and combinations thereof...and to top it all off, this week's SAL is actually a stealth love letter. Awwwww. Music by Anny Celsi, and Mark Hoffman & The Rabble

It never fails - when Bill Holmes is plugged into the proceedings (often as the podcasting equivalent of a booty call) The Spoon becomes a shattering, supercharged circuit. A white-hot, searing flame of comedic chaos. Or, as Peppy Boner himself puts it, "a total clusterfuck of talk." Literally from the intro, the show is off to Mars on a rocket of random, and can barely be bothered to wave goodbye. Sacred and profane, discerning and obtuse, referential and solipsistic... the gamut gets not only run, but run over, and not a Zeus-damned thing can be done about it. Enjoy! Music by The Well Wishers, The Swinging Madisons, and Jonathan Coulton.

Spoony superenthusiast Emily-ann Herrington thought that appearing as a guest on the show would be a good for a lark. how wrong she was. But with an onslaught of japes aimed at everything from her country of origin to her pop culture preferences raining down upon her, she serves it right back with wit and gusto. Also, she's the earliest late guest the show has ever had, so bonus points for that. Other topics include the end of film, life on the potato picking line, Winnipeg's surprisingly high murder rate, and the never-ending nomenclature war between soda and pop. Music by Kelly's Heels, Jensen Bell, and 7 Deadly 5.

Bill Funt injects himself into the mishpoche this week, and the important questions follow: what is the difference between Emergency and Emergency One? Who can sum up Marty Kroft in a single sentence? Why are some transgender operations trickier than others? When does good become TOO good? Along the way, friends of the show call in to wish us well and wage their wares, and everyone learns a lesson about vetting heroes and defending villains. Plus, the Westboro Baptist Church’s food sucks… and such small portions, too! Music by The Cretones, The Mockers, and Any Trouble.

Perhaps love is a many-splendored thing. Perhaps love is a battlefield. Perhaps love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath, and at night, the ice weasels come. Perhaps love just stinks. Whatever your perspective, the men of The Spoon and special guest Jenni Rosen have you covered on this pre-funk to Valentine’s Day, along with ruminations on the fall of Whitney Houston, the rise of E-readers, and the legacy of Jerry Lewis being so thoroughly sodomized that it could use a charity telethon of its own. Music by The Adventures and The Caulfields.

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Whatever the answer for Allen Lulu, he’s more excited to be a guest on this week’s show than the mind can comfortably conceive, and at the end of the day he weathers the conversational storm in fine form as we barrel through the surprising economics of football, the disturbing banality of the porn industry, the magical synergy of making music, and yet another trench run at that sweet, sweet Subway money. Plus, who started the Borscht talk? Not Me! Music by Throttleback Sparky

Rob’s girlfriend Jenni is here to do some mythbusting on male/female relations, but not before the show plows through a raft of Facebook flamings, DMV woes, movie cries, college tutoring, and a random rummage through the studio’s filing cabinet in search of the wily and elusive Bell Of Insult. Eventually, education and elucidation do ensue, and are all the sweeter for being hard-won. Presumably. Also, Rob gets frisky with the felines, Chris drops anvils on his bulldog, and Thom has no pets, just a hole in his heart where The Rick Emerson Show used to be. Music by The Little Girls, The Wonderstrucks, and Stian Rafto.

Can the show - nay, the Universe itself - survive all three members of Nice Guy Eddie being in the studio together? Find out, as Dave Shalansky joins us for a whirlwind of topical palaver, with affection for Yiddish, antipathy for celebrity baby names, and ambivalence about the return of Van Halen all present on the conversational menu. Plus, the Zen of Vegas, Dueling McCartneys, and this week’s Sodomizing A Legacy gets meta-muddled, in glorious fashion. Music by The Paul Collins Beat and Great Buildings.

Quinton Flynn forgoes his duties as the Spoon’s Suave Shalansky long enough to let his magnificent coif down and delve into the nerdery of anime conventions, at which he appears frequently and with much fanfare. Also, the axiom of never meeting your heroes seems to have at least one exception, which is watching your hero meet THEIR heroes, and just how white can the men of The Spoon sound whilst pitching a TV show about African-American rock musicians? The answer is none. None more white. Music by Cliff Hillis, Martin Briley, and The Sugarplastic.

It’s all about filters this week: whether it be the mist of nostalgia, the blood-rush of tribalism, or the constantly shifting sands of cultural propriety, it cannot be denied that perception colors reality, and reality gets pretty weird as a result. Are the men of The Spoon able to pierce this veil and see things as they truly are? Maybe not, but it’s fun listening to them try. Plus, Rob can finally talk about his new voiceover gig, and 1982 was a pretty damn good year for movies. Music by Trip Shakespeare,The Rainmakers, and Skooshny.

And the men of The Spoon wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer. Thus, on the second day of the first month in the year of our lord two thousand and twelve, they turned the full glare of their conversational lens in toward one another, and began upon a campaign of self-promotion and self-destruction, largely centered around what kind of bands they dig. Will this righteously indignant kick-off lead them to madness or perdition? Only time will tell. Music by Nice Guy Eddie,Sons Of Nothing, and Wonderboy.

Past, present, and future collide as the men of The Spoon assess their own story so far (complete with audio flashbacks!) and look toward the chapters yet to come, all while giving 2011 the arse-kicking out the door that it so richly deserves. Plus, the director's cut of "Billy Squier: Sodomizing A Legacy" is finally aired, and anthropological answers to your cuisine-related questions. Enjoy! Music by Candypants and The Brothers Figaro.

They may be overeager to put 2011 in the rear-view mirror, but the men of The Spoon still have room in their hearts (and time on their hands) to dissect caroling culture, Canadian winter, the anti-cool of A Capella groups, a permanent geographical fix for the Northeastern US, one of the worst "bad date" stories in the history of ever, and even spare a thought for their favorite Christmas memories, as they toggle smoothly from resentful to accepting of the Holiday fatigue that attends us all. Plus, poems and songs. Happy Birthday, Jebus! Music by Elton Duck, Love Nut, and our fair trio themselves.

Johnny Dam is on a mission to educate the men of The Spoon, and provide a rousing wave of slow claps when and if any lessons sink in. Items on the syllabus include the difference between comics and comedians, the downside of human evolution, practical advice on celebrity impersonations, and important criteria for determining the Sexiest Woman Alive. Also, praise for artists who get a second act, and befuddlement over some that got a first one. Music by Johnny Angel Wendell, Chris Von Sneidern, and Vinyl Candy.

The achievements of Bill Holmes are already the stuff of legend,but successfully giving himself a nickname is surely his zenith. Join "Poppy", along with conversational companions Sean "Jilly" Brennan, Chris "Mitch"Jackson, Thom "Who?" Bowers and Robbie "Robbie!!!" Rist, as they plumb the comic cases and whimsical whatnots of movie medication, animal allegories, real-doll relationships, and other alliteratives as well. Plus, C-bombs! Music by Terry Anderson, Rubber City Rebels,Jamie Hoover & Boll Lloyd.

There is joy in Spoonville this week, if for no other reason than our willingness to find humor in the apocalypse -- whether it be of the classic Hestonian variety, or the more contemporary Black Friday flavor. Other topics include the art of canine communication (both telepathic and olfactory), and the importance of having specific goals for 2012. Music by Foxy Shazam, Electric Angels, and an especially spirited performance from our own James Honeyman Smith-Smythe during this week's brand new Sodomizing A Legacy.

Spending the show as a dramaturgical triad for the first time in a couple of months, the men of The Spoon seek shelter from the trials and perils of real life by pondering such questions as what do we mean by “real”, and how can we arrive at an empirical definition of “life”? Also, which is tougher to endure: horror done right, or comedy done wrong? And where have all the non-vanilla sportscasters gone? The answers… may surprise you. Music by Los Abandoned, Kristian Hoffman , and Chris Von Sneidern

Sometimes the men of The Spoon are able to mix the silly and the serious with a deft, neuro-surgical touch, but this week the results are more Frankenstein-esque. Shit gets real over the goings-on at Penn State, throwing what had been a regular round of shenanigans into a debate over power, responsibility, community, and humanity. Plenty of gallows humor to be found here (especially from special guest Johnny Dam) as well as excursions into Oscar politics, Canadian labor, and a healthy round of caller abuse, but in general, this episode has a slightly different tone from what you may be used to. Listen anyway. Music by Drive Til Morning,The Loveless, and Infidels.

Bill "Pappy" Holmes returns to the show on a mission to promote his new radio adaptation of A Christmas Carol, and is only slightly sidetracked by having to spill his entire professional biography as the price of admission. Also, amid tales of pixel blood, eyebrow spikes, horseback drill teams, Spanish verbalization of varying quality and veracity, the Zen of Tim Gunn, and mad love for Stump The Band, a new Spoony drinking game emerges, sure to inspire lawsuits everywhere. Gamut-running-tastic! Music by Ed James, Beat Angels, and The Shazam

It's often been said that The Spoon is a show ahead of its time. That has never been more literally true than this week's episode, broadcast on Halloween but disproportionately concerned with the approaching Christmas season. NDR head cheese Johnny Dam joins us for a rollicking evening of righteous indignation, reflective rumination, and Re-Animator talk. Also, a trick-or-treater visits the studio, and the Fivetober meme just Will.Not.Die. Music by The Ramblers, Elton Duck,and The Surf Piranhas

Tonight, the men of The Spoon are pleased to render for you a highgrade slice of puerility, lovingly sprinkled with non-sequitur, and drowned inan avalanche of What The Fuck. Join us, along with special guests Kerry Kompost and Jerry Beller of Mars Hollow, as we learn that the differences between powerpoppers and progressive rockers are only skin-deep, while their sames go rightdown to the bone. (That's what she said!) Also, this week's Sodomizing A Legacy exposes the darkdeeds of both Christopher Columbuses...Columbesen? Columbi? Whatever. Additional music by Trouble Dolls, and Tom Clark & The High Action Boys.

Although menaced by studio vermin and suffering from such ailments as Facebook fatigue, Gosling fatigue, and Insomnia fatigue (is that even a thing?), the men of The Spoon are game for a conversational campaign on the subjects of Simpsons & Stooges, dots and feathers, testectomies and trailers, and all manner of minutia. Dave Shalansky pops in from the 8th dimension to once again sit in for Rob, who calls in to edu-tain us all with the latest developments in the field of animal-fronted metal bands. Also, the Fivetober is a lie, but the sandwiches remain oh so tasty and affordable. Music by Nice Guy Eddie, Scattered Suns, Hatebeak and Sorrows

Dave Shalansky returns to the show; older,wiser, and brimming with both excitement about his return to stand-up, and stress about his upcoming wedding -- specifically, the dilemma of DJ selection. Rob's girlfriend Jenni calls in to defend his manhood from Dave's spurious send-ups, and Rob himself checks in a little later with an attempt to steer the show toward the thoughtful and relevant topic of Columbus Day...an attempt which does not succeed. Also on the docket: many, many shout-outs to potential show sponsors. Cause that would be swell.Music by Teaneck, The Wonderstrucks, and The Spoon's own Chris Jackson.